SPECIAL REPORT: WE LOST
Bama Lama Ding Dong
Your intrepid reporter braved the chill of Atlanta in winter to prepare a live report of our DAWGS appearance in the College Football Playoffs. Safely planted in a downtown hotel room close to the action I continued my two month bender and fueled myself on weed, booze, and steaks. Nary a fruit or vegetable in sight.
It's been an interesting couple of months since my mother departed to the Great Scorer in the Sky and our DAWGS embarked on a quest to win one for the Gipper, who played at Notre Dame, which may explain why they lost. We win, they lose. Same as it ever was.
I saw a 66-27 beat down of overrated Cal in person. Watched the perfect season go away against USC on TV and capped it with 50 yard line seats at the Georgia Dome for the big game against Bama. The experience at the Dome was far better than the bullshit going on at a stadium these days. The focus was football as it should be.
In a reminder that we were in the deep South, the game was preceded by a prayer given by Andrew Young, the legendary Civil Rights activist who has a building named after him at Georgia State. WE crushed Georgia State. One can only imagine a pre game prayer at Husky Stadium, even if given by a liberal icon. Little Jimmy Cornell would have a coronary and never walk again.
Speaking of the Lucky Dawgs like Little Jimmy, the first quarter break found a Make a Wish child singing God Bless America while the whole stadium did a card show. More religion shoved in our face! Not a dry eye in the place as the little girl had her wish come true.
There wasas surprising number of Husky fans but we were still vastly outnumbered by the Bama fans who understand what the REAL religion of the South is, college fucking football.
The Huskies started out crisp and took a 7-0 lead on their second drive. That was pretty much it. The game was over and it has been hashed and rehashed enough times that we need not provide any further detail.
There was a drunk Bama student of the male variety who was yelling at Husky fans to shut up in the first quarter. I threw some verbal jabs at him to see if I could start a fight, but he shut up. Too bad his team wasn't as soft.
Atlanta is home to the largest collection of beautiful Black women. Not sure what the point is other than I may move down there. Except I'm married. I also lost my ring in airport security and didn't realize it until I was in the air heading home. I have yet to break the news to Mrs. Bannon. I may be single before long.
The moral of all this is that losing still sucks even if it is only 2 times instead of 6 or 7. The mood seems to be forgiving since it's been so long and we didn't really expect to be here because we were 7 and 6 last year and it's been a long dark decade and a half.
Now that is out of our system and it is time to restore the Husky Arrogance that requires us to win every game or fire the coach. Let's not slide back to Bolivian but instead let's get back and win it all next year.
To all of our faithful readers, fuck off.